crowdedOUTloud

I manipulate it's edges
smoldering
throbbing
bruising the rounded curves
of trembling possibilities
the
growing
(embers)
slipped among amorphous shaped thoughts
questions
impenetrable conundrums
moving
around
inside
the spongy twirls that decorate
mediocre
minds
briefly/i/entertain/casual/serious/concerns/discarded
about
the
implications
(pondering)
the hilarious implausibility of my existence AS ME
usually
I am (content) with
the ambiguity
growing
up
in a house of blue shadows
(as i did)
wronged glances
averted
aversions
diversions
missing pieces of darkened green
(i befriended earth)
chances
for
escape
faded before my eyes
theneverendingneed
to replace
broken
things
but now
something has changed inside me
at
this
time
at this age
in
this
strange
place
i understand (i know)
i am worthy of sunbleached sin
saccharined regret
(earned)
paid
for
by the imperfect disdain for imperfections
accepted
WELCOMED
soaked
in ennobled satisfaction
i
revel
in my failures
indecisions
mistakes
inloveandlifeandchance
missed
opportunities
unremembered things
lost
i relinquish my right
to
be
judged
by
the
world
and LOUDLY proclaim
to the open book OF ME
I
AM
FREE